Offsite Meeting Minutes

On this page, the minutes of the offsite meetings since 11th April 1996 can be found together with the Offsite Level Rating (...if it is posssible to remember that...).

Date: 11th April 1996, Place: Gigi L., Minutes by: Ph. Oelwein

After I, MAF, Manfred with Pietro showed up at first, we got soon into space problems, since one after the other also Bernd, Klaus, Hauke, Michael, Antje dropped in, maybe I don't remember everyone. Later on a Dart session was opened consisting of The First HERMES Test Dart Game over a distance of 299, won by MAF, and The First HERMES Real Dart Game, over da distance of 499, won be me. A number of Saure had to be consumed due to appearance of numbers like 88, 222 and 42.

Date: 18th April 1996, Place: Omas Apotheke and Golem, Minutes by:N. Makins

Participants: Philipp (spokesman), Wolfgang, Marc-Andre, Andreas M., Johann, Naomi, Hauke, Bernd, Christian

A new tradition was established: the Opening Toast, which is always to be led by the Offsite Meeting Coordinator (i.e. Philipp). After this, much discussion occurred concerning the construction of an unusual local gauge theory, describing the observed exchange of Prositons in an alcoholic field. (Could these be denoted exchange boozons?) Elements of the theory still under discussion are the lack of confinement of alcoholic charge during the exchange of high energy prositons, the apparently asymmetric interaction between onsite and offsite meetings (information is exchanged in one direction only), and the spin of the local Bar which appears to increase monotonically with time after the Opening Toast. One transparency (a Marlboro box wrapper) was presented by Hauke, but was later stolen by the waiter. After concluding that this important theory should at some point be submitted to Party Instruments and Methods, the conversation turned to the extraordinary evolutionary fact that humans, unlike any other terran species, have become dependent on pillows. Isn't that something.

Hauke noted an erratum to last week's minutes: The very first official HERMES Dart Game, was in fact the so-called Mickey Mouse game played by Bernd and Hauke, and effectively comprised the proposal for the DART experiment (Detector Anticipating Random Throws). Much heated discussion occurred concerning future upgrades of DART. The principal points raised were:

Naomi happened to have the PDB with her, and Hauke seized on this opportunity to quiz us all on the most obscure unit he could find: a 'jansky'. Philipp came very close, suggesting W/m^2 ... in fact it is a unit of spectral flux density, W/m^2/Hz. Isn't that something. At 11:01, it was agreed that the Social Interaction threshold had been reached when Bernd produced the Marlboro Man (the original). The M.M. was subsequently promoted to Long John Silver by MAF, and enhanced by creative surgical modifications. Hauke noted in passing that all human perception of age occurs on a log scale.

The bill from Oma's was DM 263 +/- 2. At 1:03, Philipp, Christian, MAF, and Naomi proceeded to Golem, where a toast to our brave, noble, and much appreciated Offsite Meeting Coordinator was performed.

Date: 20th June 1996, Place: Omas Apotheke, Minutes by: F. Meissner

After startig with usual food and the consumption of beer, discussion grow up about the (already discussed) issue of synchronising beer taking with beer prossesing. Various suggestions were on the market. Simple forms use a logfile physicly stored on a "Bierdeckel" and a (rather primitive) user interface called pen. This form seems to be widely spread among bavarian native population. Data is stored in form of 1byte crosses, unfortunately timing information gets lost. Another alternative is the use of a dedicated dad server and the prossesing of data with the general hermes slow control production. Further attemps were made to correlate beer consumption to target polarisation and structure functions.

After part of the meeting crew left ( a least one did not drink alcohol at all because of shift duties ) things become more critical. One main, deeply discussed question was why some people get ignored by the female bar stuff in ordering Duckstein but on the other hand get help by entering the toilett and which cruical role lighters play in the game.

After this an extended ranking sheme for offsite meetings was suggested, including imaginary and negative ranking. Up to this point the meeting already reached rank -3 +4.2i -22k.

Triggered by a promotion act of West cigaretts, concerning brand new aroma oil to put onto your (of course West-) cigarett (it's realy strange), which does not(!) bring free cigarett boxes onto table but left everybody with a probe of this strange aroma oil, the smell of "Gummibaer" was spread out among the participants by one member of the crew. This will cause a relentless act of revenge.

Date: 06th April 2000, Place:
Mamma Mia, then Aurel; Minutes by: I. Brunn

The meeting was planned to begin at the Filmhauskneipe, but in order to extract the intelligent people from the dumber ones it didn't start there. The people had to show that they are not too consumed by physics, by noticing a little piece of paper on the door of the Filmhauskneipe. Then they had to be able to read womens handwriting. They then on top of all this had to know what "Mamma Mia" is and where it is. Or they could try to be "social" and actually ask somebody how to get to Mamma Mia. Only the most intelligent people managed those tasks on that same evening (nobody kept track of who came 1 day late, 2 days late, ... (because the meeting was already over!)). And because of the success those 8 extraodinary people where served free drinks as much as they wanted. After having a great meal some people felt inferior and left. The rest migrated to the Aurel to continue the drinking.
....... many drinks later all the dicussion became more unorganized. All participants relaxed ... some even started to die of laughter. But what is so funny about

Date: 13th July 2000, Place:
Blaue Blume, then somewhere near Schulterblatt; Minutes by: I. Brunn

Date: 20th July 2000, Place:
Labyrinth, then Aurel, then Familieneck, then .... ; Minutes by: I. Brunn

Larry, Jochen, James and Ines had non-offsite talk until Philipp and Martin joined. All the other guests started leaving the restaurant when the music got worse and worse (Italian Popsongs ("Only slightly better than French Popsongs which are incrediblely awful" was a comment from Larry). At 11p.m. we decided to change locations (as always). Larry was a bit sorry to leave because the music was getting better, that was at least his opinion (still Italian Popsongs...). Martin could not go with us since he had to go to Easthall to look after the experiment for the next 8 hours. (But how was he capable of that after 8 beers, 3 Schnaps and 2 "Saure"...? (or did he only have 2 Apfelschorle?))
The first option "Familieneck" was too crowded so we went to Aurel. The loss of Martin was compensated by the arrival of MAF. He bought 2 glasses of peanuts for supper. Then he joined the celebration of Larrys' registration of his car and the "non-release" of James' plots. This went on for a long time despite disagreement if the "music" in the bathroom was whales or dolphines "screaming". Larry even checked if the music was the same in the womens and mens bathroom. Philipp and then also Jochen decided to go home to get some sleep. Being again the last guests the 4 of us left the Aurel at around 4 o'clock to go to the now less crowded Familieneck. Here Larry almost got sevenminusoneually harassed by a couple having an arguement on the mens bathroom. They started closing the pub at 6 o'clock. MAF pushed for going to another pub but Larry still left. So MAF convoyed James and Ines to the Labyrinth (where Ines left her bicycle) and even beyond to the pub mentioned. But unfortuenately "Moellers" was closed even though the expert (MAF) told us it always opens at 6 o'clock in the morning (by then it was 6:10 a.m.). So we closed the meeting standing on the street in bright daylight. Thank god the weather was bad, so no sun could blind our eyes!